Anger = Action

And so it starts...

The nights are now blacker and the Christmas lights are an annoying watery colour. Ive regained some energy tonight after an afternoon sleep. My head feels thick and my eyes are sore. Im fighting to keep a sociable air to me. Each negative feeling is expanding daily. Today I woke up and every muscle and joint hurt. I had zero energy. Caddy fell off the bike and I dragged it down the road who knows how far cutting its legs. Had I not noticed at all I could have dragged it to its death. I felt sick.

Gary Numan - Everyday I Die - Hybrid Version (2003)

Nobody knows about that guy years ago...

Kaboom !

 Two loud bangs have occurred in my thoughts !

She'll be coming round the corner when she comes...

  I keep having dreams about a young very dark haired woman. She is not very tall and of medium build. I never see her face but am very aware of her affection for me. I'd say she was around 20 years old maybe. She is starting to get frisky. I wonder what tonight brings ? Ive read stories about this kind of thing and it seems there could be a real life reason for these dreams. She is not my type at all, but she's all fired up and ready to go. This could be a December thing. A Solstice Winter darkness thing.

Self sabotage

  As the days shorten I begin to get a growing urge to buy hand tools. There is a deep pleasure and satisfaction to this. I guess this goes hand in hand with my  fixing bug that also grows with December. I am on a sliding scale here and it will end in tears by Christmas. The compulsion to tinker gets over whelming and my judgement worsens. Team this up with the entropy that grows daily until New Year and I will do something I regret...

Stop me if i am wrong ?

 If a wise man today disregards what he considered to be a truth years ago... and if I today am undecided on the merits of said subject...does this make ME ahead of him on the curve ? If i am undecided I am not falling foul of any falsehood. The future is not set in concrete